SUEvivor: Alagesia
by Jade Snape-Holloway
Summary: Ten Eragon Mary Sues...Nine challenges...On winner....Tune in to see which one will be named The Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue!
1. Chapter 1

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Well, I▓ve gone through my other favorite fandoms and wrote a SUEvivor for them, so I figured hey, Eragon rocks, lets parody it▓s Sues! There aren▓t enough Eragon Sue parodies out there, you know? So anyway, please review!

CHALLENGE 1: SUE SITUATIONS

//dramatic music starts. Pictures of the Sues start coming on the screen//

Akia, NewRider!Sue Zadia Greentree, Elf!Sue Juliya Garjzla, Princess!Sue Melody Deathshade, Varden!Sue Jade S., Author!Sue Adrielle, Ayra▓sSister!Sue Raine, Galbatorix▓sSlaveGirl!Sue Danni California, I-Fell-Into-Alagesia!Sue Sabrina Baen, Wanderer!Sue Ebony, Galbatorix▓sDaughter!Sue

Ten Eragon Sues stood in front of a big castle, waiting for the host to show up.  
Akia stood in front of the rest, flipping her long, bleach blond hair and adjusting her armor (she was a NewRider!Sue after all). It was perfect for a Sue because it left her stomach, arms, and legs bear.

Zadia was combing her ebony hair and Adrielle was giving her death glares. She was supposed to be the elf Sue around here!  
Sabrina and Raine, who were both very angst-y, were passing the time by seeing who could cry the longest.

Finally, Juliya pointed to the hill the castle was sitting on. ⌠It appears our host has arrived,■ she said regally.  
Raine and Sabrina stopped crying long enough to look up and see Jade H. coming towards them. Danni only briefly looked up from her little mirror and then went back to putting on mascara.

⌠Welcome to the third season of SUEvivor!■ Jade H. cried when she reached them.  
⌠As you know, your all here to compete for title of Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue! Whoever wins will go down in history as the most Sueish Sue to ever spring up from hell and sink her talons into the earth! Now, lets go see where you▓ll be staying these next nine weeks!■ Jade H. turned and led them to their castle.

Once there, Jade H. stepped back and opened the doors to reveal a very well furnished castle.  
There were ten thrones sitting there with the name of each Sue on them. Not only that, put there was a fuzzy pink carpet on the floor, bean bags, a sparkling chandelier, and an awesome stereo.

Jade S. squealed and threw herself onto the first purple bean bag she came to. ⌠This is way better then last season▓s place! We all had to sleep in a ship!■

⌠That▓s right, Jade S. You▓ve been on the past two seasons of SUEvivor. Do you think you▓ll win this one?■ Jade H. asked her.

⌠Probably not. I▓m just here because Author inserts are such a problem in every fandom. And also cause it▓s fun to be a Sue,■ Jade S. explained.

⌠OK. Danni, this is your first time on SUEvivor. Do you feel good about your chances of winning?■ Jade H. asked Danni, who was still putting on mascara.

Danni looked around the room. ⌠Like, yeah!■ She said, sounding annoyed. 

⌠Uh huh. Melody, you▓re a Varden!Sue. This place must be much better then your used to living, since you have to travel and fight all the time,■ Jade H. said to her. Melody gave her a cold look.  
⌠I hate pink. And I would much rather be fighting Urgals then getting fat sitting around here all day!■ She snarled.

⌠Oh, you won▓t get fat. Everyone knows Mary Sues can gain no wait,■ said Akia, most unhelpfully.

⌠Right, well, I▓ll leave you ladies to get settled it, but I▓ll be back tonight for your challenge,■ said their host as she left the castle.

⌠I don▓t care if it▓s pink, I like it!■ Sabrina said, sitting on her throne. ⌠It▓s so much nicer to have a home then to be wandering constantly┘never knowing what▓s going to happen to you┘■ she trailed off, tears forming in her huge dark blue eyes. She also had long brown hair which she kept in a lose braid. She carried her bow and arrows with her at all times, even now that she was in Castle Sue. She wore a long grey cloak over her brown clothes and boots.

⌠Well, this isn▓t much different then my castle. Way more pink and fluffy, but still┘.I have a castle,■ Zadia said, making rose petals fall from the ceiling, such was the power of an Elf!Sue.

⌠Yeah, well my father▓s castle is MUCH better then this dump! At least we had slaves there!■ Ebony said. She had long (you guessed it) ebony hair and was wearing a red strapless dress with black fishnet over the skirt.  
Raine gave her a dirty look, but was too nice to say anything.

⌠Hey, Danni? Can I barrow your lip stick?■ Adrielle asked, not that she REALLY needed it. She just wanted to look more stunning.  
Danni gave her a contemptuous look and went back to putting on mascara (no, she wasn▓t even near finished).

Raine came running back into the main room. ⌠Guys! Guys! You should come see the bed room!!■ she cried.  
She lead the Sues, who were dragging their suitcases, to the Sue▓s new bed room.  
They all gasped at the same time.  
The room before them was HUGE. There were ten giant canopy beds lining the room. Beside each of them was a night stand and opposite the beds were big wardrobes for their clothes.

⌠I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!■ Jade S. screamed, jumping back words onto her bed.

XOXOXOXOXO

A few hours later, Jade H. came up to bring them to their first challenge.  
She led them to an empty little village and into a small house.  
Inside, three guys were sitting there waiting for them.

⌠Ladies, these are your judges. Eragon, Murtagh, and Roran,■ Jade H. announced. ⌠Crap, Jade S. just fainted┘Someone throw some water on her, will you?!■

A few minutes later Jade S. was all better (all though her head was dripping wet) and she was now sitting across from Murtagh, staring at him.

⌠Anyway Sues, your challenge for today is one where you▓ll be given a Mary Sue situation and you will be judged on how Sueishly you respond. Akia, you go first,■ Jade H. told her.

Akia stepped up in front of the judges, winking at Eragon who screamed and jumped under a table.  
⌠Ahem, Akia,■ Roran said, looking through his notes. ⌠You▓re a NewRider!Sue. You have just defeated Galbatorix and the green dragon has hatched for you. What do you do now?■

Akia blew a kiss to Eragon and said, ⌠well, I would be crowned queen of Alagesia, of course! And my beloved Eragon would rule right beside me!■

The judges nodded and made a mark on their papers. ⌠OK, creepy-I mean, Sueish enough. Zadia? Since you are the Elf!Sue, what would a day in your life be like?■

Zadia straightened the elaborate green leaf broach holding her cape in place and said, ⌠a day in my life is quite simple, really. I get up at dawn, rule over all the elves, teach birds to sing, let the commoners worship at my feet, and turn down Eragon in his attempts to date me. Then at night I put the stars in the sky and go to bed.■

The judges looked at each other. Eragon was looking thoroughly terrified now. ⌠Right┘.anyway, Juliya, your next. Oh, no! You▓re about to be forced into an arranged marriage! Whatever shall you do?■ Roran read the question dramatically.

⌠Well, I would let my evil father lock me up in a tower and await my beloved (she mouthed ⌠you■ at Eragon) to storm the castle and save me so we could ride away into the sunset,■ Juliya answered without hesitation.

The guys gagged, but made a note about it anyway. ⌠Alright, Melody. Since you▓re the new leader of the Varden for no reason at all, Galbatorix really wants you dead. He captures you and locks you away in his castle. What do you do?■

Melody snorted at the easiness of that situation. She tossed her long, dark hair smugly. ⌠I would simply kill him with my super Sue powers, then take the next egg and restore peace throughout Alagesia!■

⌠OK,■ said Murtagh. ⌠Jade S.: Being the author insert you are, it▓s your duty to exaggerate every tiny aspect of your author. How do you do this without your author seeming to self absorbed?■

⌠I guess I would just add that I have a huge flaw, like I▓m too gorgeous, or something. Also, I would say that everyone hates me because I▓m beautiful. Another problem: You love me too much!■ Jade S. finished, doing the ▓call me▓ sign at Murtagh, who shuddered and joined Eragon under the table.

⌠Uhhh, OK┘ Adrielle, how can you be any different from your sister, Arya?■ Roran asked.

Adrielle glared at him. ⌠I am nothing like my stupid sister! Mom actually likes me and I let Eragon do me within the first couple of chapters!■

⌠Right┘. Raine, your Galbatorix▓s slave. Then Eragon and Murtagh come and free you and you fall for both of them! The shock! How do you decided which one to sleep with?■ Roran asked.

⌠That▓s easy! It all depends on which one my author likes! In the end I▓ll get rid of the other boy by having him sacrifice himself for me!■ Raine said, adjusting her dirty white bikini. Hey, she was a slave! It▓s not like Glaby would let her wear CLOTHES!

⌠Kay, Danni?■ Murtagh asked.

Danni looked up in annoyance again. ⌠Yeah?■

⌠How did you get to Alagesia?■ He asked the rude little Earth girl.

Danni rolled her eyes. ⌠Duh.■

⌠┘.What?■

⌠The book like, transported me there and stuff!■

⌠How?■

⌠Duh.■

⌠WHAT?!■

⌠Magic book!■

⌠Whatever. Sabrina, you▓re a Wanderer!Sue, therefore Murtagh and I don▓t really trust you. How do you prove your loyalties to us?■ Eragon asked.

⌠Oh, I▓d do something subtle, like┘sacrificing my life for one of you?■ Sabrina said.

⌠That▓s subtle?■ Eragon cried.

Sabrina gave him a pitying look. ⌠You clearly don▓t know Mary Sues. NOTHING about us is subtle!■

⌠OK, then, Ebony. You▓re Galbatorix▓s daughter. Somehow you have managed to sneak into the Varden without detection. How do you keep getting information?■ Roran asked.

⌠It▓s a simple matter of sleeping with everything that moves. I seduce men into telling what I need to know,■ Ebony said as if everyone did that.

⌠Great┘OK, we▓ve determined this weeks winner!■ Eragon announced. ⌠The person who gave the most Sueish answer tonight wins immunity! The winner is┘.■

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

⌠┘.Adrielle!■

Adrielle looked surprised. ⌠This is wonderful!■ she cried.

⌠Yep, and since we▓re here, lets just do the voting ceremony now!■ Jade H. said, taking a helmet out from behind her back. ⌠Adrielle, since you won, you▓ll come up first and write the name of someone you want voted out on a piece of paper, then put it in the helmet.■

Of course, Adrielle voted for Zadia.

After all the Sues were done, Jade H. picked up the hat.

⌠First vote, Zadia. Next vote, Raine. Ebony. Danni. Juliya. Melody. Danni. Melody. Melody. And the first person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘.■

YEP, TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

⌠┘.Melody.■

⌠WHAT?!■

⌠Sorry, you just weren▓t cool enough,■ said Akia apologetically.

⌠Well,■ Jade H. said after Melody stormed off. ⌠I▓ll see you ladies next week for your second challenge.■

END OF CHALLENGE 1.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: Alliances are made and the Sues have a pretty fun challenge.

A/N: If you▓ve seen Saturday Night Live▓s ▒Tow A-holes▓ thing, then Danni talks like that annoying girl. Please review:D 


	2. Challenge 2: The fashion show

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Thanks for reviewing, people! Hope this chapter▓s good. :D

CHALLENGE 2: FASHION SHOW

All the Sues were sitting around Castle Sue.  
Some of the more serious Sues were sitting royally at their thrones.  
Danni was chewing gum and looking around the room as if it were annoying her. Jade S. and Akia were talking about how hot Murtagh was, even though Akia liked Eragon.

Ebony had taken it upon herself to rule over all the other Sues and treat them as her slaves. They were all ignoring her, of course, but it was annoying how she kept ordering them around none the less.

⌠RAINE!■ Ebony shouted. Raine sighed and came up to Ebony▓s thrown.

⌠What, Ebony?■ She asked.

⌠Do not speak to me that way, slave! I want you to fetch my awesome black nail polish!■ Ebony ordered.

⌠I told you, I am not your slave anymore!■ Raine snapped. ⌠I ran away to be in fan fiction!■

⌠Yeah, Ebony. Just leave her alone!■ Sabrina said. She smiled at Raine. They had become friends over the past week, bonding over their equally tragic pasts.

There was a loud knock at the castle doors and Zadia got up to answer it. Standing outside was Jade S.

⌠Hi Sues!■ She said happily. ⌠Hi Jade H.!■ The Sues responded.  
⌠Lovely, you haven▓t been here long enough to be board into insanity yet! Well, of course, I▓m here to announce your next challenge,■ Jade H. told them. ⌠As everyone knows, Mary Sue▓s clothing are always a main plot point. Next to that, there▓s not much else in the area of plot. So your challenge today will be┘..A fashion show!■

⌠YAY!!!■ All the Sues (even Ebony) cried.

⌠That▓s right! Your going to be walking down the cat walk today, modeling the most Sueish clothes! But, you won▓t be allowed to just throw on a corset, mini skirt and fish nets. No, you have to have a Sueish outfit that perfectly says what type of Sue you are!■ Jade H. told them.

The Sues were quiet. ⌠So, like┘if we▓re a Princess!Sue, we have to wear the perfect Princess!Sue outfit?■ Juliya asked.

⌠That▓s correct! Now, if you would please follow me, I▓ll lead you to your challenge area,■ Jade H. said.  
She turned and left, leading the Sues down the hill from their castle.

After a few minutes of walking, they arrived at a big building where they could here music being blared.  
Jade H. pulled the doors open to reveal a huge, for some reason really shiny room with a runway in the middle.  
People were sitting on either side of it and some were talking pictures.

⌠Ladies, this is where you▓ll be doing your challenge. You▓ll have five minutes with a personal stylist to help you with hair and make up, but the outfit will be left to you. Good luck!■ Jade H. said, leaving them to sit down by the runway.

XOXOXOXO

//Akia//

Akia was suddenly standing there amid a group of stylists, models, and photographers.  
Suddenly, someone grabbed her and pulled her into a dressing room.  
⌠Wha-■ she started, but was immediately forced down into a chair.

⌠Don▓t talk, dahling, I▓m going to make you simply gorgeous!■ Said someone behind her.

⌠Oh, OK-Wait a minute! I am gorgeous!■ Akia said, trying to turn around to see the person she assumed was her stylist.

⌠Yeah, yeah. Just shut up and let the expert work!■ Said the stylist.

After exactly three minutes, the person pushed her out of her chair and Akia stumbled toward a rack of clothes.  
She reached up tenderly and felt her hair. It was as blond as ever, she was glad to see, but now it was sexily tossed around her shoulders, as if she was a Victoria▓s Secret model in battle. Also, her hair was streaked with gold.

Going through the rack Akia found they were all bits of skimpy armor that would do more harm then good in battle.  
⌠This is perfect!■ She squealed. There was no way she could lose with these!

XOXOXOXO

//the actual challenge//

So five minutes later, all the Sues (who had all gone through something like that) were gathered around, waiting for someone to call their name.  
They were all perfectly clothed in awesomely Sueish outfits.

Finally, the announcer said, ⌠and now, please welcome┘. AKIA! THE NEWRIDER!SUE!!■ Akia took a deep breath and walked to the runway through the dramatic red curtain.  
Looking up at the announcers▓ place, she saw two people she recognized from the first season: Bob and Phil!  
Akia smiled at them and started strutting her stuff down the runway, the song ▓Don▓t cha▓ by the Pussycat Dolls was playing in the back ground.

⌠Wow, Bob, look at that armor! She▓s ready to go into battle all right!■ Said Phil, in that weird voice that sports casters always use.

⌠Yes indeed, Phil. She▓s wearing a very low cut top that leaves almost all of her chest exposed and armor that totally shows off her thighs! What better thing to wear into battle with dragons?!■ said Phil in an equally sports caster way.

Akia finished her turn on the runway by flipping her hair and the strutted backstage.  
⌠Good luck!■ she whispered to Zadia, who was next in line.

⌠And next up,■ said Bob or Phil, ⌠is the Elf!Sue Zadia Greentree!■

Zadia walked out to the runway, putting her hands on her hips and tossing her hair.

⌠Look at that elf go! You▓d think she▓d been born on the cat walk, wouldn▓t you, Phil?■ Bob said.

⌠Don▓t tell me what to think, Bob. Anyway, look at that hair shine! It▓s an ebony obsidian waterfall that▓s dark as a starless night, that▓s for sure, Bob!■ Phil said as cameras flashed.

⌠I concur! And her eyes are definitely the color of the darkest sapphires resting at the bottom of the clearest blue ocean, Phil!■ Bob said.

⌠I▓m afraid I don▓t get what you just said there, Bob!■ Phil said.

⌠IT▓S A SUETHOR THING, PHIL! YOU THINK I WOULD JUST SAY SOMETHING THAT STUPID?!■ Bob screamed, throwing his microphone to the floor.

⌠Lets get back to the show, Bob. Zadia is wearing a cream colored dress with lace and a corset bodice┘thing. Obviously since she▓s an Elf!Sue, she doesn▓t get into battle a lot, so she can pull off this look!■ Phil announced.

⌠And next in our fashion show is Princess!Sue Juliya Garjzla !■

Zadia left the stage as Juliya came on, lifting her skirt so she didn▓t step on it.

⌠Here she is, the most stunning princess in all of Alagesia! What do you think of her new make up, Bob?■ Phil asked.

⌠I think it▓s stunning, obviously, Phil. See, the dark eye shadow and eye liner really bring out her eyes, which are as green as emerald leaves on new summer trees! And her lips are as pouting and beautiful as┘.as an angel▒s, or something!■ Bob announced.

⌠I can see that, Bob. You don▓t think I can see that?! Anyway, her hair is also perfect, what with it being dark brown and tumbling softly around her head like a veil!■

⌠Lets not forget the real reason she▓s here, Phil,■ Bob laughed. ⌠Her dress obviously is perfect for her character. It▓s black with sleeves that hang on her shoulders, and she is wearing gloves that match. It suits her because she▓s so full of angst for not being allowed to marry her true love!■

⌠And our next model is Jade S., the Author!Sue!■

Jade S. walked out to the runway, making the most of one time as a model. She was flipping her long hair and winking at the camera.

⌠Here she is, with her long golden blond hair shinning like the sun at mid day, it▓s streaks of brown setting off the whole look! And what incredible eyes! Her perfectly applied mascara really frames her eyes, which of course, are dark brown┘.there▓s just no analogies for that!■ Bob said.

⌠Please try to stop obsessing over the poor girls make up, would you, Bob? It▓s her dress that matters! She▓s wearing a knee length light purple dress that laces up the top. Along with that, she▓s wearing fishnets and boots. All in all a sexy look!■ said Phil.

Jade S. finished with striking a totally sexy pose with her hair up. Adrielle pushed her towards the curtain to make room for her.

⌠And here▓s Adrielle, looking way better then her sister ever could!■ Bob cried.

⌠You don▓t have to tell me, Bob. She has her hair down, splaying over her perfect shoulders, midnight black and so prettier then Arya!■ Phil said. ⌠Plus, here eyes are a deep amethyst purple, so perfect it▓s like looking into the so soul of a million grapes!■

⌠Yes indeed, Phil! But her dress really takes the cake! It▓s dark blue silk, to complete the awesome midnight look! And lets not forget the fact that it has spaghetti straps and is completed by a plum colored cape! Perfect for wandering through the forest looking angst-y!■

⌠I didn▓t forget, Bob. You always just assume I can▓t remember things!■ Phil snarled.

⌠OK,■ said Bob over Phil▓s voice. ⌠Next up we have Raine, the Galbatorix▓sDaughter!Sue!■

Adrielle left the cat walk and was replaced by Raine.

⌠Here she is! Just look at her long red hair, flowing like a flame in the darkest night! She▓s been beaten and abused, forced to work and do god knows what with Galbatorix, and she still looks incredible!■ Phil said.

⌠Yes, she sure does! And since she is a slave, what better outfit then this? A dingy white bikini complete with chains around her arms and legs! Sexy chains, of course!■ Bob said.

Raine finished her walk by bursting into tears and then left for Danni, who was still chewing gum.

⌠And here▓s Danni California! The I-Fell-Into-Alagesia!Sue! She looks modernly stunning with her long brown hair up in a pony tail, and her blue eyes covered in mascara!■

⌠Yes, it▓s true! She is really, unbelievably unbelievable! Just look at that outfit! She▓d be burned as a witch wearing that in Alagesia!■ Bob laughed.

⌠Oh, Bob! They don▓t burn witches in Alagesia!■ Phil scorned.

⌠I know that. I was making a joke. YOU DON▓T THINK I KNOW THAT?!■ Bob screamed.

⌠Anyway, look at those low rise jeans! It▓s so wonderful that they show off THAT much thong! And her halter top is perfect for this outfit, all blue and covered in sequins! She TOTALLY doesn▓t look like a hooker!■ Phil said.

⌠Isn▓t that the truth? Next up is the wonderful Sabrina Baen!■

Sabrina smiled at Raine as the passed each other.

⌠Sabrina is the Wanderer!Sue, so she looks the part! Her hair is wild, but sexy none the less! Even the twigs and leaves in her hair don▓t take away from that! And her eyes are so beautiful even though their hollow from the pain of her past!■ Phil cried. ⌠Who knew eyes could be hollow and full of angst at the same time?

⌠Well, not only that, but her clothes! She▓s wearing a nice grey┘.I donno, tunic I guess and leggings or what ever their called! Then she▓s got knee boots and a black cloak to make her more mysterious!■ Bob said.

⌠It sure does, Bob. And last but not least, the stunningly evil Ebony!■

Ebony walked out haughtily, tripping Sabrina on her way out.

⌠Here▓s Ebony, Galbatorix▓sDaughter!Sue! Just look at that hair, Phil!■ Bob said.

⌠I. See. It. Bob,■ Phil growled. ⌠God, you always think I can▓t do things without your help. I DO LOTS OF THINGS WITHOUT YOU! Anyway, yes, her hair is stunning!■

Ebony▓s hair was incredible, with it up in a sort of messy bun, except for two strands of blood red hair hanging by her face.

⌠And would you look at those eyes?! So black they must hold pure evil!■ Bob said, completely ignoring Phil.

⌠Yes, but that dress! Oh my! It▓s a red strapless dress with a black beaded dragon going up the side! Perfect for seducing members of the Varden!■ Phil said, forgetting his tantrum. ⌠Well, that▓s all the Mary Sues we have for today, ladies and gentlemen, so please get ready for the immunity ceremony!■

All the Sues filed out of the back room and lined up on the runway, Jade H. in front of them.

⌠Well, we all have carefully looked at the way each of you are dressed and we▓ve come to the conclusion that one of your outfits totally describes the type of Sue you are┘.and the winner is┘..■

A LONG TIME LATER. YOU THOUGHT I▓D SAY TWENTY MINUTES, DIDN▓T YOU?

⌠┘..Danni!■

⌠Yay,■ Danni said in a board tone.

⌠Right, now for the voting ceremony,■ Jade H. said, placing the helmet in front of Danni, who sighed and wrote down someone▓s name.

After all the Sues went, Jade H. picked up the helmet again.

⌠First vote, Ebony. Second vote, Ebony. Juliya. Raine. Zadia. Ebony. Adrielle. Zadia. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘...Ebony.■

⌠WHAT?! YOU CAN NOT DO THIS TO ME!!! MY FATHER WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!■ Ebony howled as security dragged her out of the building.

⌠Wow, that was weird! Anyway, I▓ll see you ladies next week for your third challenge!■

END OF CHALLENGE TWO.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: ⌠Ohhh, I▓m so lost!■ ⌠How do I get out of here?!■

A/N: Thank you reviewers! Hope this chapter was good! 


	3. Challenge 3: the evil deadly maze of

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Man, Bob and Phil are popular! My sister got made when she heard I used them because technically she came up with Phil. When we were younger and board waiting in the car for our parents we would make up stories about Bob and Phil, except they were golf sports casters. It was fun. Anyway, thanks for reviewing! D

CHALLENGE 3: ESCAPE FROM THE EVIL DEADLY MAZE OF NO RETURN.

Everyone was kind of surprised that Ebony had been voted out. Well, obviously not the people that had voted her out, but the others were.  
Things were a lot nicer, having one less spoiled Sue bossing everyone around. Raine even started being less angsty.

Now, most of the Sues were engaging in Sueish activities. No, not THOSE Sueish activities! Weirdoes┘I mean they were sitting around the living room on fuzzy pink pillows and bean bags, painting nails, doing hair, and giggling in high pitched voices. 

Zadia was sitting in the middle, eating ice cream right out of the tub. Yep, it was the good life.  
⌠Man, this season is so much easier then last! I mean, at least I don▓t have to live on a pirate ship!■ Jade S. said, snatching the ice cream away from Zadia. Adrielle kept reaching for it, but Zadia refused to give her any. Ya know, because their both Elf!Sues.

Danni was one of the only Sues not joining in on the Sueishness.  
She was sitting on her throne looking board as always and listening to music on her diamond covered iPod. Akia and Sabrina were ▒sparing▓ with each other to keep their skills sharp, not that it was needed, considering they were Mary Sues.  
Even the oh-so-royal Juliya was taking a break from day dreaming about Eragon long enough to let Raine give her black high lights.

Yes, all was well in Castle Sue until there was that knock on the door that meant it was time for a challenge.  
Jade S. jumped up to get it and of course Jade H. walked in.  
⌠Hello, Mary Sues! How are you guys doing?■ she asked.  
⌠Great!■ all the Sues cried.  
⌠Great. Well, I▓ve got your challenge,■ said Jade H. All the Sues got quiet. ⌠Well, follow me!■ There was a flurry of movement as the Sues rushed to get ready.

Fifteen minutes later they were all lined up at the door.  
⌠Great, except Zadia, you still have a mud mask on,■ Jade H. pointed out.  
Adrielle laughed meanly.

Jade H. lead the Sues out side and down the hills.  
They were all surprised to see that the village by their castle had been destroyed to make room for the giant maze in front of them.

⌠Well, Sues, as you can see we▓ve bull dozed the little village here to make this maze!■ Jade H. said cheerfully.  
They stared at her.  
⌠What? Oh, don▓t worry. It was a fake village anyway! So, your challenge tonight will be┘..You must escape from this deadly, evil maze of no return! Each of you will face a certain obstacle in this maze that you must overcome if you wish to make it to the end. Good luck!■ And with that, Jade H. turned and sat in a director▓s chair to watch.

Akia bravely stepped up and entered the maze. After a few minutes, the others followed her.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Akia//

Akia had been running aimlessly for a while, so her hair was sexily messed up and she looked like the star of a bad horror movie running from the villain.  
She paused for a moment to catch her breath; the skin tight armor was cutting her in half, so she decided the only solution would be to rip it off. Fortunately she was wearing something Mary Sue decent under it that was much easier to run in.

⌠Ah, that▓s perfect! Sexy, easy, and Sueish!■ Akia said as she turned and ran straight into a wall.  
⌠Crap!■ she spat, looking around for an exit. She was just about to climb on top of the maze▓s wall to see try and see a way out when she heard something. Loud, slow foot steps.

⌠OH MY GOD! I AM IN A HORROR MOVIE!!!■ Akia shrieked, running as fast as she could the other way. Of course, she smacked right into the thing she was running from: a dragon.  
⌠Oh, holy Sue, look at that thing!■ Akia gasped. It was a huge green dragon and he was looking at her like she was nothing but a French fry he was about to eat.

⌠Ummm,■ she started, remembering she was NewRider!Sue. ⌠Hello, nice dragon! I am Akia, the next dragon rider of Alagesia!■ Of course, she said all this in the Ancient Language.  
⌠Ha,■ said the dragon. ⌠No your not. Your just the product of some little obsessive fan girl. Now, hold still┘■ and the dragon started dousing her with ketchup.

⌠Ugh! My hair! My beautiful hair!■ Akia screamed, and for a minute it looked like she was melting. ⌠Alright, you listen here, you freakin▓ scaly chicken! I▓m gonna be your rider whether you like me or not! You got that? I said, DO YOU GOT THAT?!■

The dragon stopped pouring the ketchup and stared at the little Sue in front of him with wide eyes.  
Akia was using all the Sue powers she possessed to control the elements. Wind was flying everywhere and the walls were being knocked to pieces.

⌠OK, OK, be cool┘I▓ll take you out of here┘■ the dragon said, dropping the ketchup and backing away slowly.

⌠Damn right you will!■

XOXOXOXOXO

//Zadia//

Zadia wasn▓t too worried about this challenge. She was an Elf!Sue, after all. They had some crazy powers.  
Zadia merely walked through the maze, waving her hand at the walls, which were blown apart. She just walked in a straight line to the end of the maze.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Juliya//

Juliya was truly a damsel in distress.  
She walked around the maze looking totally lost and crying.  
⌠I-I don▓t know what to do! My true love usually does everything for me!■ She sobbed. She was even smearing her make up. ⌠How do I get out of here?!■

Looking around her, Juliya slowly walked around the maze, waiting for someone to come and rescue her. Of course someone would. She was in a fan fic after all.  
Finally, after many screams of anguish and tears, Juliya found herself face to face with the Ra▓zac.  
After fainting three times and screaming for five minutes solid, Juliya decided they weren▓t going to leave.  
⌠What do you want?■ She demanded.

⌠Duh,■ hissed the first one. ⌠To kill you and sssstuff!■ And so they started advancing on Juliya with their swords drawn.  
Just as Juliya was backing away, one of the camera guys handed her a sword of her own.

⌠What the hell good does this do?! I▓ve never used a sword!■ she cried. But, she didn▓t see any other option, so she started whacking them with it (with her eyes closed).

When she opened them again, they were dead. ⌠HOLY SUE! HOW▓D I DO THAT?!?!?!■ She screamed.  
⌠Oh, yeah,■ she laughed girlishly as if she hadn▓t just killed two monsters. ⌠I▓m a Sue! I forgot I don▓t need practice at anything!■ And so she skipped down the rest of the maze, humming as she went.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. was running around the maze, singing her own spy music.  
Every now and then she▓d drop to the ground and roll, then jump back up.  
⌠This is so cool! I get to be a Mary Sue, and a spy!■ She cried.

So that went on for a while before she thought of something. ⌠Wait, aren▓t I supposed to have a challenge?■ ⌠I dunno,■ said the camera guys.  
No sooner had Jade S. said those words then she bumped right into┘..GALBATORIX!

⌠Oh. My. God,■ she said, immediately stopping the spy music.  
⌠Halt, girl. What am I doing here! Did you bring me here?!■ Galbatorix demanded.  
⌠Don▓t flatter yourself. If I was gonna bring any Eragon character here, you bet your bottom dollar it would be Murtagh,■ Jade S. said, leaning against the wall. She wasn▓t scared of Galbatorix. She knew her author wouldn▓t kill her off.

⌠Bet my what? Oh, it doesn▓t matter. What does matter is that I demand to be returned to my castle!■ Galbatorix cried.  
⌠Oh yeah! How▓s Ebony?■ Jade S. asked.  
Galbatorix sighed. ⌠Who?■ ⌠Your daughter? Ring any bells?■ ⌠I have no daughter!■ ⌠Oh, right┘Just a Suethor thing, then, gotcha,■ said Jade S. said.

⌠Who are you?■ Galbatorix asked.  
⌠I▓m Jade S., the Author!Sue,■ Jade S. told him. ⌠I▓m on SUEvivor: Alagesia. Hhhhey, I bet you▓re my challenge! Can I kill you?!■ ⌠WHAT?!?!?■ Galbatorix screamed. ⌠OF COURSE NOT, YOU SILLY LITTLE GIRL!!■

⌠Oh, bite me, Galby!■ Jade S. said, crossing her arms. ⌠I▓m a Sue! I can do what ever I want!■ Then it dawned on her. ⌠I CAN do what ever I want! As an Author!Sue I have no established powers! Ahem,■ she cleared her throat and stared hard at Galbatorix.

Jade S. was focusing all her energy on doing something really cool.  
Galbatorix looked behind him. ⌠Eh, what are you doing?■ The Sue didn▓t answer. She raised her arms in the air and the clouds started spinning together and getting darker. It was like a tornado, but not.

Galby looked up just in time to see the spinning clouds gather right over him and in a flash, a bolt of lightning hit him.  
With a POOF! Galby disappeared.  
⌠Wow!■ Jade S. said, ignoring the ash on the stone floor of the maze. ⌠I love being a Sue!■

XOXOXOXOXO //Adrielle//

Adrielle was running from place to place. Even though this had been going on for a long time, she wasn▓t the least bit tired.

⌠Uh, Adrielle?■ Asked one of the camera dudes. ⌠There▓s a big green egg over here, and it▓s rocking back and forth┘■

Adrielle turned to see that there was indeed the green dragon egg sitting there on the ground behind her.  
⌠Ohhh, this must be part of my challenge!■ She gasped. ⌠Wow, that▓s awesome, isn▓t it? Guys? Guys?■ Adrielle looked up to see all the camera crew backing.  
⌠ZOMBIE!!!!■ One of them screamed.

Adrielle turned around. Durza was standing in front of her. ⌠That▓s not a zombie! That▓s movie Durza!■ she said.

⌠Yes, it is I, Movie Durza and I have come for the green dragon egg!■ Durza said. ⌠Give me the egg or I will kill you!■

⌠Well, screw that,■ said Adrielle. She raised the egg above her and whacked Durza on the head with it. He fell to the ground and she took off.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Raine//

Raine was totally lost, which wasn▓t surprising, considering she was in a maze.  
She turned around in circles a couple of times before accepting it. ⌠Well this bites,■ she said.  
Raine looked expectantly at the camera crew. ⌠Oh come on! You guys work for this show! You must know how to get out!■

⌠Sorry, Raine, but the producers don▓t tell us anything so you can▓t use your Sue powers to make us tell you stuff,■ said Jake the Camera Guy.

⌠Well, what good are OMG SOOPER SPECHAL POWERZZ!!!11!≥ if I can▓t use ▒em on little mortals like you?!■ Raine cried, stomping her foot. Then she thought of something. ⌠Wwwwait┘..I think I will use my OMG SOOPER SPECHAL POWERZZ!!!11!≥!■ And all Raine did was snap her fingers and┘..

⌠What the hell?!■ Eragon cried. He had magically appeared right next to Raine and he wasn▓t wearing a shirt.

⌠EEEEE!!!■ Raine squealed, throwing her arms around him.

⌠Uh, Raine? How is he gonna get you out?■ Jake asked.

⌠He▓s not. He▓s just going to give something to do while I wait for someone to rescue me!■ Raine told them happily.

⌠WHAT?!■ cried Eragon, trying to free himself from Raine. ⌠W-what are you talking about? Hey, why are you looking at me like that? OH MY GOD!!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!■

XOXOXOXOXO //Danni//

Danni rolled her eyes as she walked through the maze.  
⌠Ohhh, I▓m so lost!■ she whined. ⌠This like, sucks!■ Meanwhile, the camera crew looked at each other in ▒She▓s doing it again▓ look.

⌠Kay, I like give up and stuff,■ said Danni, sitting on the floor and crossing her arms.  
Just then, they all heard someone walking up to them. It was Murtagh.

⌠Oh my like, God! It▓s you!■ Danni cried, jumping up.

⌠Yes, it is. I▓m part of your challenge. See, I know the only way out of here and it▓s your job to get me to tell you. I warn you, I▓m pretty tough. I won▓t just tell you-■ he stopped when Danni kissed him. ⌠Uh, what//sigh// The exit▓s that way,■ Murtagh said.

Danni smirked at the camera. ⌠Like, too easy.■

⌠Wait,■ Murtagh said, looking confused. ⌠Um, call me!■

XOXOXOXOXO

//Sabrina//

Sabrina, being a Wanderer!Sue was used to wandering around aimlessly.  
She sighed. ⌠I wonder what my challenge will be? I don▓t think it▓s fair to have a challenge within a challenge!■ But then Sabrina▓s wondering was interrupted by people shouting. She smiled excitedly at the camera. ⌠This is my big moment!■

Sabrina raced around the corner until she came face to face with Eragon and Murtagh, who were both being attacked by Urgals.

Sabrina had left her bow and arrows and other weapons back in Castle Sue, but was now regretting it. All she was left were her amazing powers with the Ancient Language.  
She held up her hand and shouted, ⌠Aouergh Olshela Poielkje Moinege Hoertaer!!!■ And of course, all the Urgals were reduced to ash.

⌠Wow! That was incredible! What was that?■ Eragon asked.

⌠It was an ancient Mary Sue spell that means, ▒by the ancient powers of the Sue, kill everyone here that isn▓t hot.▓■ Sabrina explained.

⌠Oh,■ said Murtagh. ⌠That must be why your missing so many camera people.■

Sabrina looked behind her. ⌠Crap.■

XOXOXOXOXO

//voting ceremony//

Jade H. stood in front of the Sues.  
She wasn▓t happy about the Sabrina▓s spell. It had taken a lot out of their budget to revive the camera crew.

⌠OK, Zadia, you really didn▓t complete the maze, you just blasted holes in it. I can tell you right now your not winning immunity. Jade S. and Juliya, you two managed to kill some of the most feared things in Alagesia. Nice job! And Adrielle, that was really smart, giving Durza a concussion! And Raine never actually finished the challenge┘.Lets not go into detail on that one┘.Danni, you did great. Don▓t get me started with you, Sabrina,■ Jade H. said, glaring at her. ⌠Well, the winner is┘┘Danni!■

⌠Like, duh,■ said Danni.

⌠OK, time for the voting!■ Jade H. said, bringing out the helmet.  
Danni wrote the first name and put it in. Then the others did the same.

⌠OK, first vote, Raine. Zadia. Adrielle. Raine. Sabrina. Sabrina. Raine isn▓t here so she can▓t vote, so the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘..

YOU KNOW WHAT.

⌠┘.Raine.■

There wasn▓t the usual gasps of shock because Raine was gone, so all the Sues just left.

END OF CHALLENGE THREE.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: ⌠This is awesome! There▓s no way I can lose!■ ⌠Wow! I rock!■

A/N: Kay, thanks for reviewing, people! Please review this chapter! D 


	4. Challenge 4: The Power of Sues

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Oh, thanks for the reviews, people! - Hope you guys like this chapter!

CHALLENGE 4: POWER OF SUES.

All the Sues were sitting around the castle, doing nothing.  
Jade S. had figured out her powers, so she was having fun messing with stuff. Every time a Sue came near her thrown, she would create a force field and make them bounce back off. It greatly amused her.

They were all kind of sorry to see Raine go, considering she was the only one who knew how to clean, but a Sue who was willing to give up the title of Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue for a few hours with Eragon was just not a good Sue.

Now, they were all sitting around, being board.  
The thrill of living in a lavish castle was wearing off. They didn▓t even care that everything was covered in a fine layer of pink glitter. They were board without victims-I mean boys.

So finally later on that night, Jade H. came knocking again and someone answered the door.  
⌠Hi, Sues! How▓re things gonin▓?■ She asked.  
⌠Ahh, ya know┘Boring┘■ said Zadia.  
⌠Oh my god, Sues are spoiled!■ Jade H. said. ⌠Anyway, I assume you know why I▓m here. For your challenge. As you know, there is rarely ever a Mary Sue that does not posses great powers. And in the first season of SUEvivor, we had to contestants put on a talent show. Well, this is sort of like that, except you all have to show us an ZOMG SOOPER SPECHAL POWER1!!12211!≥ If you▓ll follow me, I▓ll lead you to your challenge area.■

The Sues followed Jade H. out of the castle and down the hill. Jade S. was excited because she had just discovered her new powers of Author!Sue-ness.  
Finally they reached the little house that they had gone to in their first challenge. Some how the inside was big enough for all of them and the judges (Eragon and Murtagh). Jade H. turned to the Sues. ⌠Well, ladies, since Danni won the last challenge, she will go first.■ Danni rolled her eyes and stomped up to the stage that had been set up for them.

⌠OK, Danni, what are you gonna show us today?■ Eragon asked.

Danni snapped her fingers and a copy of the Eragon DVD popped into her hand. ⌠I don▓t have a power on all my own, so I have to rely on this magic DVD,■ she said. Apparently summoning DVDs wasn▓t enough of a special power for a Sue.  
⌠I watched this every day cause I love it and reading is stupid-■ Eragon, who was taking, a drink of water, spit it out all over the camera.

⌠-and then one day it just sucked my into the TV. So, that▓s my power. Traveling through TV▓s. Also, I can seduce anything with a pulse.■

⌠Well┘.Um, very nice, Danni┘OK, next up is Akia,■ Murtagh said. He was still shocked that people think reading is stupid.

Akia skipped up to the stage.  
⌠As you may know, I▓m such a Sue I have multiple powers, so it was hard to pick which one to show you. In the end I decided to show you how great I am at making the dragon eggs hatch.■ And with that she picked up a dragon egg.

Everyone leaned forward to see what she was doing.  
Akia sat down on her knees in front of the egg. She raised her hands over the egg, her palm shinning with silver.  
Suddenly, the egg exploded.

⌠AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!■ everyone screamed, diving for cover.

⌠Guys, it▓s OK! Look!■ Akia cried, holding up a little green dragon baby.

⌠Awwww┘■ everyone said. ⌠Well, that▓s going to get her some extra points!■ said Murtagh. Then he started petting the baby, which bit him.

⌠OK, next up is Zadia,■ said Jade H., not noticing Murtagh, who was running around the room trying to get the dragon off his hand.

Zadia walked up to the stage, flipping her midnight ebony hair.  
⌠Since I▓m the REAL-■ she glared at Adrielle ⌠-Elf!Sue, I have more powers then possibly all the other Sues put together. Now, please pay attention┘■

Wind rushed into the room, scattering papers and stuff.  
Zadia▓s hair swirled around her and she waved her hands above her head. Suddenly┘.

⌠Uh, where are we?■ asked Eragon.  
Everything in the little room was now sitting outside in the middle of nowhere.

⌠We are in the middle of the Hadarac Desert!■ Zadia said proudly.

⌠Great┘.now put us back,■ Murtagh said.

Zadia blinked. ⌠Umm, Ok┘uh┘this might take a while┘.■ and she walked off the stage.

⌠Great. Next Sue is Juliya,■ Eragon said.

Juliya smiled nervously. ⌠Um, ya see, I▓m just a Princess!Sue┘.I don▓t actually HAVE any special powers┘except I can cry with angst for an entire chapter┘.■

The judges shook their heads. ⌠Alright, next is Jade S.■

Jade S. jumped up to the stage.  
⌠Hello people!■ She said. ⌠I▓m so happy that I can do anything I want, being an Author!Sue! I thank the Suethor that first inserted herself in a fic! Anyway, my power will be something useful and awesome. Behold!■ she waved her hand and everything turned pretty and pink. The sky was a purpley blue and there was now green grass on the ground. Stars were in the sky and glittering butterflies were flying everywhere.

⌠I have single handedly turned everything within thirty miles of me into something Sueish! Now you all have ZOMG SOOPER SPECHAL POWERs1!!12211!≥ and you all are graced with Sueish beauty!■ Jade S. said. ⌠Also, I just made Josh Holloway appear, so if you▓ll excuse me┘■ and she hopped off the stage to go see him.

⌠Hmm, that was interesting,■ said Eragon, who was now really, really hot and had tons of powers. ⌠Next up is Adrielle.■

Adrielle came up to the stage. Jade S.▓s spell had had no affect on her since she already was a Sue.  
⌠Hello mortals. For my power, I am going to do this:■ Adrielle just stood on the stage, doing nothing.  
Then, thousands of guys appeared in the distance, all looking like zombies and chanting, ⌠Adrielle.■

⌠What exactly did you do?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Duh. I made all the men of Alagesia fall in love with me!■ Adrielle answered as the crowd picked her up and carried her away.

⌠Well┘.OK! Sabrina, your our last Sue,■ Jade H. said.

Sabrina hopped up on the stage.  
⌠On the last challenge, you all saw how I can call upon the Ancient Powers of the Sue to kill Urgals, but also that particular spell killed most of the camera guys. So I decided that I▓ll show you how I can really kill Urgals with just me.■ Sabrina snapped her fingers and tons of Urgals and the Ra▓zac appeared. They all got ready to attack her, but she snapped her fingers again and they disappeared in a puff of sparkling pink smoke.

⌠Wow Sabrina! That▓s good. OK, tonight▓s immunity winner is┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘...Jade S.!■

⌠Yay me!■ Jade S. cried.

⌠And now for the voting.■ Jade H. sat the helmet on the stage and let Jade S. put the first piece of paper in it.  
A few minutes later, after all the Sues, she picked it back up.

⌠First vote, Juliya. Next vote, Zadia. Adrielle. Danni. Juliya. Danni. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘..■

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

⌠┘┘..Juliya.■

⌠Noooo!!! This is all because I don▓t have a power, isn▓t it?!■ Juliya sobbed. The Sues nodded sadly and Juliya ran off.

⌠Girls, wouldn▓t it be better for you to vote off people you think might be better then you? That▓s what they do on Survivor, ya know, vote out the tough competitors first┘.■ Jade H. said.

All the Sues stared at her. ⌠Um┘.No, we want to vote out to boring Sues┘.■

⌠OK, just go back to your castle and I▓ll see you next week.■

⌠Um, we can▓t┘we▓re still in the Hadarac┘■ Akia pointed out.

⌠DAMMIT, ZADIA!!!■

END OF CHALLENGE FOUR.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: ⌠This is all we▓ve got to work with?!■ ⌠Damn I▓m hot!■

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! Review and tell my who you want to win: D 


	5. Challenge 5: Unnamed

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! Hope this chapters good! D

CHALLENGE 5: THE UN-NAMED CHALLENGE

Since this was the Sues fifth week on the show, things were slowing down.  
Sure, it had been interesting when Danni discovered the never ending cabinet of finger nail polish in the bath room, and yes, it was cool that the mirror in the bed room told them that they were gorgeous, but still, without boys, life was just boring.

// Akia▓s camera//

⌠I better win this thing! I▓m about to die of boredom! I▓ve never gone this long without being in a romance fic before! FIVE WEEKS!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT IS?!■

//normal cam//

⌠I▓M THE REAL ELF!SUE AROUND HERE, YOU //beep//!!!!!■ Adrielle screamed at Zadia.

⌠NO, I AM!!!! I▓M NOT JUST SOME CHEAP KNOCK OFF OF YOUR SISTER!!!!!■ Zadia yelled back.

There was a gasp in the room. ⌠Too far, Zadia,■ Jade S. whispered. ⌠Way too far┘■

Adrielle stared at Zadia like this:o ⌠Is that what you think? Some CHEAP KNOCK OFF OF ARYA!?!?!■

⌠Yep!■ Zadia said.

Adrielle ripped off her earrings and tackled Zadia, screaming, ⌠I▓M BETTER THEN MY SISTER EVER WAS, YOU STUPID POSER!!!■ All the other Sues dove for cover behind their thrones.

⌠Thank god for cap locks, or else they wouldn▓t be able to yell at each other,■ Jade S. pointed out as she watched the Sues go at it from the safety of her throne.

Suddenly-

BAM!!!!

The doors of the castle were thrown open and Jade H. stormed in.

⌠What the #$ are you guys doing?!■ She snarled.

Adrielle and Zadia stood up slowly. Zadia was missing a tooth and Adrielle had a black eye. Their hair was all messed up and they kept shooting each other angry looks.

⌠Who started this?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Well┘.Adrielle attacked Zadia after she called Adrielle a cheap knock off of Arya,■ Sabrina explained.

⌠Damn, Zadia. That was cold!■ Jade S. said. ⌠Too bad your guys weren▓t wearing bikinis in a pit of Jell-O, or we would have had a ton more male viewers. Anyway, I▓m here for your challenge.  
As you all know, Mary Sue▓s clothes are always perfect and skimpy or revealing in some way. Here▓s your challenge:■ Jade H. threw the Sues a few pieces of fabric. It was some totally ugly stuff, too. Just picture the ugliest color and pattern you can.

All the Sues looked at it. ⌠Um, what do we do?■ asked Akia.  
⌠You must take this fabric and turn it into a super hot outfit! The sexiest one wins immunity!■ Jade H. said.  
⌠This is all we▓ve got to work with?!■ Adrielle gasped.  
⌠Yep! Good luck!■ Jade H. said, walking out.

The Sues looked from the material to each other. ⌠Well, this is weird,■ Jade S. said.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Akia//

Akia was standing in her room with a pair of scissors, looking at herself in the mirror.

⌠I figure all I have to do is make this the smallest out fit ever and I▓m gold!■ She said happily and she started sawing away at the material. 

Five minutes later┘..

⌠Well this can▓t be right,■ Akia said, holding up her ▒skirt.▓ She had cut holes in it by accident and it just didn▓t seem right. However, when she put it one, it looked just fine. It was super short because of her over zealous cutting and the jagged rips she had torn into it showed off her skin sexily. Even though it was badly made, and the color was awful, it still made her look awesome.

⌠Hey! I▓m gorgeous!■ Akia said, spinning around and admiring herself. ⌠Now for a top!■ And she started hacking away at the other stuff until she had a tiny strip of cloth. She tied it around herself.

⌠There! A micro-mini and a tube top! And with little sewing involved! ⌠Damn I▓m hot!■■ She finished the outfit by putting on some black thigh high boots and flipping her hair around until it was sexily tossed. Then she squealed happily and ran out of her room.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Zadia//

Zadia had used her powers to fix her tooth and now looked just as perfect as before.  
She examined the ugly things she was supposed to be turning into a sexy dress and she had no ideas.  
⌠This sucks for me,■ she said. ⌠I never did any sewing back home! I was too busy making Eragon fall in love with me and being generally perfect! Hmmm┘.■ she said, looking at the needle and thread. Zadia looked around shiftily and then waved her hand over the items. They immediately came to life and started sewing her a beautiful gown.

Zadia looked at the camera crew, who were staring at her like this: X0 ⌠What? Oh, like it▓s such a surprise! ▓Oh, the Mary Sue controls life! Who knew?!▓ Please.■

So Zadia sat down and read a magazine ( Modern Sue) as the needles and such worked their magic (or her magic, technically speaking). As soon as Zadia finished reading, she looked up and found that somehow, she had made the needle sew her a totally hot but ugly dress.  
It went to the floor, so it was kind of elegant, but the top was so low it was a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.  
When Zadia put it on, the ugliness of the dress outdone by her beauty.  
⌠Perfect! I▓m going to win! Maw hahahahaha! I will crush Adrielle!■ And cackling like a maniac, the beautiful Sue left the room.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

⌠Man┘.Now what am I supposed to make out of this?!■ She moaned, holding up the little bit of material Jade H. had given her. Then an idea hit her. Well, it hit her author as she sat there thinking about what to have her Sue make, but an idea hit someone and that▓s all that matters.

Jade S. actually didn▓t mind the sewing part; that had never really been a problem, even for her author.  
She bent down over her sewing and wouldn▓t let the camera guys see what she was doing.

A few minutes later, she hid whatever she had made behind her back. ⌠Don▓t follow me!■ She snapped at the camera people as she went to try on the thing.  
When she came back out, she looked super hot despite the gross color of her dress. The dress had straps hanging on her shoulders and, even though the skirt only went to her knees, it had a split all the way up to her hip.

⌠Camera man? Your getting drool on the camera lens,■ she pointed out as she walked away.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Adrielle//

Adrielle had never sewn a stitch in her life. Somehow, trying to thread her needle, she had tangled the thread around herself and was now trapped with her arms tied to her sides.  
⌠This is not funny!■ She growled at the camera crew, who, instead of helping were laughing their butts off.  
Suddenly, a blue light started forming around her and she burst out of her bonds.

⌠Not so funny now, is it?■ she demanded.

She looked helplessly at the ugly fabric in front of her. ⌠Well, I▓m doomed anyway,■ she sighed. She picked up the first tiny piece of fabric and wrapped it around herself to make a disgustingly tiny strapless dress. She cut the next piece into a strip and tied it around her waist to hold up the dress. ⌠Well┘not too terrible, I guess┘■ and Adrielle smiled and left.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Danni//

Danni looked at her fabric. ⌠That▓s so not hot.■ She looked around in a board way. ⌠I like, hate this show and stuff cause the make me work.■ Despite all her whining, she put her Sueish skills to use and started sewing herself a sluty outfit. Not that all Sues are skilled in sewing, but they pick up talents unusually easily.

So exactly three minutes later, Danni was wearing a bikini she had made herself. ⌠I▓m hot,■ was all she said.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Sabrina//

Sabrina was smiling, which was weird cause she was usually so full of angst.  
⌠This is going to go well! See, since I had to live in the forest by myself, I had to make all my own clothes,■ she explained.  
She started humming (perfectly) and sewing.

Half an hour later┘.  
⌠I don▓t know┘Is it good?■ Sabrina said nervously. But no one answered. Again, they were all staring like this: X0 Within that half an hour, with the just the little bit of stuff she had, Sabrina had managed to make a short dress with a corset bodice. She even made her own fish net stockings!

⌠H-how did you do that?!■ The camera guy gasped.

Sabrina giggled. ⌠I guess I▓m just really good!■

XOXOXOXOXO

//later//

All the Sues were lined up out side their castle wearing the clothes they had made.  
Jade H. was in front of them, shaking her head in disbelief.

⌠I▓ll never know how you girls managed to do that. No patterns, no measuring┘.. Maybe I don▓t want to know, cause knowing Mary Sues it▓s bound to be something evil. Anyway, lets start with Akia. Your outfit is really good and Sueish, so good job.  
Zadia. The problem with you outfit is that the challenge was the SMALLEST one wins, not the outfit most suiting your character. (Adrielle smirked at her.) Jade S. Your▓s again isn▓t that small, but since it has a sluty spilt, we won▓t take any points. Now, Adrielle. You▓ve never sewn before, right?■

⌠That▓s right.■

⌠Well, even though you technically didn▓t sew, you made a cute and revealing dress, so good job with that! Danni┘.I think you took ▒small▓ a little too far, but I wouldn▓t put it past a Sue to pop into Alagesia wearing that. Now, Sabrina: THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! YOUR AMAZING!!! But the winner is┘┘Akia.■

⌠Oh, this is totally unexpected even though I knew I would win!■ Akia said, jumping in the air and clapping her hands.

⌠OK, you know the drill,■ said Jade H., handing her the voting helmet.  
A few minutes later she took it back and read the votes.

⌠First vote, Adrielle. Next vote, Zadia. Zadia. Sabrina. Adrielle. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘┘■

YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT IS.

⌠┘┘Zadia.■

Zadia fell to the floor sobbing.

⌠Ha ha! You lose, sucker!!!■ Adrielle screamed, laughing meanly.

⌠OK, OK, go back in before Adrielle gets killed!■ Jade H. said, pushing the Sues back into their castle till the next episode.

END OF CHALLENGE FIVE

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: ⌠Yeah! Boys!■ ⌠Finally, a fun challenge!■ ⌠God help us!■

A/N: Sorry that was kind of a stupid challenge. I couldn▓t think of any others. I think the next challenge might be better, so stay tuned! Please review: ) 


	6. Challenge 6: Speed Dating

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Thanks for the reviews people! It▓s so cool we can put pictures on our profiles now!!! I just love that! BTW, I▓m working on a ▒which SUEvivor Alagesia character are you▓ quiz, so that should be up some day.

CHALLENGE 6: SPEED DATING

Jade S. and Akia were talking about what had happened last week. Zadia had been voted out for being a total bitch.  
⌠I bet Zadia is out there somewhere┘.plotting her revenge on Adrielle and all of us who voted her out┘■ Jade S. said.  
⌠Of course she is! It must be horrible for a Sue to be voted out of the competition, ya know, not being as good as the others. I▓m sure it sucks for mortals, but for a Mary Sue┘so shameful!■ Akia said sadly, shaking her head.

For the past week Adrielle had acted incredibly smug about her victory over Zadia.  
She had even persuaded the other Sues to start singing ▒Ding dong the which is dead.▓ ⌠I liked Zadia until she said that about Adrielle,■ said Sabrina and most of the Sues agreed (except Adrielle).

So that day, as the Sues discussed the challenges, Jade H. came to their door.  
⌠Hello, Mary Sues! I see you▓ve had an eventful week!■ Jade H. said. The Sues glared at her.  
⌠OK, I was kidding! I▓m here for your challenge and I think you▓ll like this one! Today, you will go down to that little village below your castle with your assigned victim-ahem, boy and you will all have to seduce into becoming your boyfriend. The catch is, you each only have one minute!■

⌠Yeah! Boys!■ Akia screamed, so happy to have something to do. ⌠Finally, a fun challenge!■ Sabrina said.  
⌠Wait┘One minute? That▓s not enough time to form a relationship!■ Adrielle objected.  
⌠Girl, have you READ a Sue fic? People fall in love with each other in less time then that, trust me!■ Jade S. said.

⌠Well girls, if you▓ll follow me┘.■ Jade H. lead them out the doors and down to the village to where Eragon and Murtagh were waiting.  
Upon seeing four Mary Sues coming towards him, Murtagh whispered, ⌠God help us!■

⌠OK, ladies, Akia first, cause she▓s first on the author▓s list of characters!■ Jade H. said happily. Akia squealed and jumped into Eragon▓s arms. ⌠And your time starts┘..now!!!■ Jade H. said, setting a giant egg timer for two minutes.

Akia grabbed Eragon▓s hands. Her eyes filled with tears.  
⌠Eragon, we could both be killed in this up coming random battle! In fact, I probably will sacrifice myself to save you, so you should know┘.I love you!■

⌠Wow, with all the making out we do in our fics I had no idea!■ Eragon said sarcastically. Akia smacked him in the head.

⌠Look in my eyes, moron!■ She snapped. Eragon stared into her silvery grey eyes. They were hypnotizing him with their evil Sue powers.  
⌠Your so right! I love you too!!!■ Eragon said and they started kissing.

⌠Oh, that was so sweet how you forced him into falling in love with you! And within eighteen seconds! Up next, Jade S.!■ Jade H. said.

Jade S. walked up to Murtagh and sighed. ⌠Look, your hot. I▓m hot. We▓d have cute kids. Lets do it.■ ⌠Wait, I don▓t know if I love you on looks alone!■ Murtagh said, trying to back away, but she had his hand in a death grip.  
⌠Murry, I▓m the Sue here. I know all and I know that you love me. Now kiss me, you idiot!■ ⌠Oh┘Kay┘.honey,■ Murtagh said uncertainly.

⌠Alright, that was beautiful,■ Jade H. said, doing the ▒call me▓ sign at Murtagh. ⌠Next is Adrielle!■

Adrielle went straight up to Eragon, who mumbled, ⌠Why me in all these fics?■ She put her hand on his shoulder. ⌠Eragon, I love you. Do you love me?■ ⌠Not realllllll┘uhhhhh┘■Eragon started drooling. ⌠Uh huh.■ ⌠Excellent. Seven seconds, I believe,■ Adrielle said, going back to her place in line, Eragon following her.

⌠Eragon? What are you doing? Adrielle? What is he doing?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Oh crap! I guess my Sueish charms were too much for him!■ Adrielle cried, shaking Eragon to get him to wake up.

⌠Thanks a lot, Adrielle! You broke Eragon!■ Jade H. said. ⌠Danni, go on. You▓ll just have to have Murtagh.■

Danni rolled her eyes, walked up to Murtagh, and kissed him. When she pulled away, he looked like this: OoO Then he said, ⌠Marry me. Marry me now!■

⌠Wow! You got a marriage proposal! Nice! Last but not least, Sabrina!■ Jade H. announced, trying to hold Eragon back from Adrielle (he was trying to make out with her). ⌠SOMEBODY WANNA HELP ME, HERE?!?! She screamed. The Sues ignored her.

Sabrina just stood in front of Murtagh and cried.  
⌠Wha-Um┘don▓t cry┘.OK I love you!■ he said, giving up.  
⌠Oh, I love you too! I▓ve never know love because-■ ⌠Sabrina, please! We don▓t need the angst story right now!■ Jade H. said. ⌠The winner tonight is┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘...Adrielle, even though you ruined him. It was still very affective. Now for the voting.■ A random person handed Jade H. the helmet, which she gave to Adrielle.  
The Sues passed the hat around until they had all gone.

⌠OK, first vote, Sabrina. Second vote, Jade S. Akia. Sabrina. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘.■

AFTER COMMERCIALS.

⌠┘..Sabrina.■

⌠Man┘.■ Sabrina said. ⌠Well, at least I have more to angst about!■

⌠That▓s the spirit! I▓ll see you guys next week on SUEvivor!■

END OF CHALLENGE SIX

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: ⌠Yay! I can show off how awesome I am at this!■

A/N: OK, please review and tell me who you want to win: ) 


	7. Challenge 7: Alagesian Idol

SUEvivor: Alagesia

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! This chapter will be short cause I couldn▓t think of a really good challenge. Sorry. : ( Please review this chapter: )

CHALLENGE 7: ALAGESIAN IDOL

Adrielle was not happy.  
The producers of the show had made her pay for Eragon▓s therapy so he could get over his Sue encounter.  
It cost her a ton of money, but, being a Sue, she had an endless supply.

Jade S. was watching her Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs on the giant TV.  
All the other Sues were looking at her like she was crazy, for she hadn▓t stopped laughing since she put it in.  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  
Akia got up to answer it and of course, it was Jade H.

⌠Hello, Sues. How have you been?■ she asked.  
⌠Alright. Things are a lot quieter around here without Sabrina angsting around,■ Adrielle said.  
⌠Yeah, she sure made things depressing┘.God I miss that,■ Jade S. said, momentarily sad. Then the guy in the movie said something funny and she keeled over laughing.  
⌠Well Sues, I think you▓ll like this challenge, too. I▓ve already mentioned that the first SUEvivor season had a talent show. Well, today we▓ll be doing something like that, but you can only have one challenge: Singing!■ Jade H. said.

All the Sues looked at each other excitedly. This could be a chance to show off their angst!

⌠Now, don▓t think this will be a chance to show off your angst! No, all the songs have to follow a theme and that theme will be, of course, Mary Sues!■ Jade H. announced.

There was silence.  
⌠So┘we have to sing something about Mary Sues?■ Akia said, a little disappointed that her incredible talent would go to used for that.

⌠No, for some reason artist find it unnecessary to write songs about Sues. No, your job is to find songs that you think perfectly SUITS Mary Sues. You have five minutes to decide.■

All the Sues stared at her for a minute, then whipped out their iPods. Never mind the fact that they▓re all from a magical land that has no iPods┘.  
After a few minutes, Akia smiled. She found a great song.

⌠OK Sues, times up!■ Jade H. said. ⌠Lets go!■ She lead them out the door and down the hill as always.  
They entered a little cabin thing.  
Inside, a stage had been set up and Eragon and Murtagh were sitting at a table. Eragon looked really pale and sick.

⌠Right, well, this is where you▓ll be performing today,■ Jade H. told the Sues. ⌠Akia goes first!■

Akia hopped up on the stage. ⌠OK, since I have to do a song that suits Mary Sues, I decided to do something that perfectly describes the way our authors and we feel about us. It▓s called ▒I Am,▓ by Hilary Duff. Hit it,■ Akia said, and a spot light was put on her and music started. (If you read the lyrics, it▓s like the Mary Sue theme song!)

⌠I'm an angel, I'm a devil I am sometimes in between I'm as bad it can get And good as it can be Sometimes I'm a million colors Sometimes I'm black and white I am all extremes Try figure me out you never can There's so many things I am

I am special I am beautiful I am wonderful And powerful Unstoppable Sometimes I'm miserable Sometimes I'm pitiful But that's so typical of all the things I am

I'm someone filled with self-belief And haunted by self-doubt I've got all the answers I've got nothing figured out I like to be by myself I hate to be alone I'm up and I am down But that's part of the thrill Part of the plan Part of all of the things I am

I am special I am beautiful I am wonderful And powerful Unstoppable Sometimes I'm miserable Sometimes I'm pitiful But that's so typical of all the things I am

I'm a million contradictions Sometimes I make no sense Sometimes I'm perfect Sometimes I'm a mess Sometimes I'm not sure who I am

I am special I am beautiful I am wonderful And powerful Unstoppable Sometimes I'm miserable Sometimes I'm pitiful But that's so typical of all the things I am

I am special I am beautiful I am wonderful And powerful Unstoppable Sometimes I'm miserable Sometimes I'm pitiful But that's so typical of all the things I am Of all the things I am Sometimes I'm miserable Sometimes I'm pitiful But that's so typical of all the things I am Of all the things I am!!!■

Akia finished her song and took a bow as everyone in the audience clapped wildly. ⌠WOO!! GO YOU!!! THAT ROCKED!! Even though I don▓t like that song, you rocked! Next up is Jade S.,■ Jade H. said.

Jade S. came up to the stage. ⌠Well, we all know how Mary Sues are boyfriend stealers, and everyone tells me this song is about someone stealing someone else▓s guy, so I figured why not? Plus, I like this song, so I▓ll be doing ▒Girlfriend,▓ by Avril Lavigne.■ Jade S. grabbed the mic and started singing.

⌠Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don▓t like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me No way! No way!  
You know it▓s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend You▓re so fine I want you mine You▓re so delicious I think about ya all the time You▓re so addictive Don▓t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don▓t pretend I think you know I▓m damn precious And Hell Yeah I▓m the mother fking princess I can tell you like me too and you know I▓m right She▓s like so whatever And you could do so much better I think we should get together now And that▓s what everyone▓s talking about!  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don▓t like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me No way! No way!  
You know it▓s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend I can see the way, I see the way you look at me And even when you look away I know you think of me I know you talk about me all the time again and again So come over here, tell me what I want to hear Better yet make your girlfriend disappear I don▓t want to hear you say her name ever again (And again and again and again)  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me No way! No way!  
You know it▓s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend In a second you▓ll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, cause I can do it better There▓s no other So when's it gonna sink in?  
She▓s so stupid What the hell were you thinking?!■

Again, everyone clapped and cheered. Since Jade S. was a Mary Sue, she totally rocked. ⌠Damn, I love that song. But when you read the lyrics, they do sound Sueish┘Oh well! Next up is Adrielle!■ Jade S. just shrugged.

Adrielle stood up on stage. ⌠I▓ve decided The Pussycat Dolls song ▒Bite the Dust▓ would be Sueish enough. It seems to be about me being better then another girl. Just read the lyrics.■ And Adrielle did something surprising: She ripped off her fancy blue dress so she was wearing something┘.well, lets say definitely not appropriate for TV. In a sluty voice she started to sing.

⌠ Bite the dust Trust me, anything you can do I can do better than you Bite the dust Some things remain impossible You're no exception to rules Bite the dust How many times I go to tell you?  
He don't even see you Bite the dust You see, I'm really helping you I'm keeping you from looking a fool She's got a plan to have my man She's going to have to deal with me

Ooh, sugar I got him I got 20/20 vision I can see that you want my man Ooh, sugar I got him 'Cause it's my job To make you understand Ooh, sugar I got him Try to make a move And I'm on him like 5-0 Ooh, sugar I got him So you can go 'Cause I got him Got him

Bite the dust Baby girl, I really hope You get the message I'm trying to convey Bite the dust 'Cause you're pushing me to the edge And I ain't got time to play Bite the dust How many times I got to tell you?  
He's where he wants to be Bite the dust Keep on, act like you didn't know My hands going to do the talking today She's got a plan to have my man She's going to have to deal with me

Ooh, sugar I got him I got 20/20 vision I can see that you want my man Ooh, sugar I got him 'Cause it's my job To make you understand Ooh, sugar I got him Try to make a move And I'm on him like 5-0 Ooh, sugar I got him So you can go 'Cause I got him Got him

Oh Oh Give it up Give it up (Oh)  
Give it up Give, give, give it up

I know what she wants I know My man She's got a plan to have my man She's going to have to deal with me

Ooh, sugar I got him I got 20/20 vision I can see that you want my man Ooh, sugar I got him 'Cause it's my job To make you understand Ooh, sugar I got him Try to make a move And I'm on him like 5-0 Ooh, sugar I got him So you can go 'Cause I got him Got him

Bite the dust I got 20/20 vision I can see that you want my man Bite the dust 'Cause it's my job To make you understand Bite the dust Try to make a move And I'm on him like 5-0 Bite the dust So you can go 'Cause I got him Got him

Your other girl bites the dust (Yeah)  
Your other girl bites the dust (Yeah)  
Your other girl bites the dust (Yeah)  
Your other girl bites the dust (Yeah)■

Everyone stared at her after that. Well, Jade H. and the other Sues did. Eragon and Murtagh had passed out. ⌠Wow, Adrielle. That was a lot of sluty- ness we▓ve never seen from you before. Where▓d that come from?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Oh, all Sues are sluts deep down,■ Adrielle said with a shrug.

⌠OK, the last Sue is Danni,■ Jade H. announced, smacking Eragon and Murtagh till they woke up.

Danni stood up on the stage. ⌠I wanna do Fergie▓s ▒Fergalicious.▓ I think it pretty much shows how Sues are treated and they way the look at them selves,■ Danni said, and everyone was surprised because it seemed to be the longest sentence she had ever said.  
Danni started to sing.

⌠Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo.  
You could see me, you can't squeeze me.  
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy.  
I got reasons why I tease 'em.  
Boys just come and go like seasons.

Fergalicious (so delicious)  
But I ain't promiscuous.  
And if you was suspicious,  
All that shit is fictitious.  
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)  
That puts them boys on rock, rock.  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (it's hot, hot)  
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)  
So delicious (they wanna taste of what I got)  
I'm Fergalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Fergalicious def,  
Fergalicious def,  
Fergalicious def- "def" is echoing  
Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy.  
They always claim they know me,  
Comin' to me call me Stacy (Hey, Stacy,  
I'm the F to the E, R, G, the I, the E,  
And can't no other lady put it down like me.

I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)  
My body stay vicious I be up in the gym just working on my fitness He's my witness (oooh, wee)  
I put yo' boy on rock, rock And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (it's hot, hot)  
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)  
So delicious (they wanna taste of what I got)  
Fergalicious (hold, hold, hold, hold, hold up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby,  
If you really want me,  
Honey get some patience.  
Maybe then you'll get a taste.  
I'll be tasty, tasty,  
I'll be laced with lacey.  
It's so tasty, tasty,  
It'll make you crazy.

Delicious (so delicious)  
But I ain't promiscuous And if you was suspicious All that shit is fictitious I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)  
That puts them boys on rock, rock And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)

Four, tres, two, uno.  
My body stay vicious,  
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness,  
He's my witness (oooh, wee.  
I put yo' boy on rock, rock,  
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty It's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (aye, aye, aye, aye)■

Everybody clapped again, but Eragon and Murtagh were drooling onto the table, which was gross.  
⌠OK, time to vote. Remember,■ Jade H. added, turning to the guys. ⌠We▓re voting on who had the song the best suits Sues. Not whoever was hottest.■ They all talked quietly and a few moments later looked up at the waiting Sues. ⌠We▓ve decided on the winner┘┘■

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

⌠┘.Akia.■

⌠Yay!■ Akia cried, high -five-ing all the Sues.

⌠And since yours is the most Sueish, that song will be the SUEvivor theme song! To bad this season is about over┘.Anyway, on with the voting,■ Jade H. said, giving her the hat.

Akia went first, then the other Sues. Jade H. picked up the first vote. ⌠Hmm, first vote, Adrielle. Jade S. Jade S. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘.■ ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

⌠┘.Yeah, Jade S.■

⌠Man┘.■ Jade S. said, walking away.

⌠OK, see you guys next week for your second to the last challenge!■

END OF CHALLENGE 7.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: Only three Sues are left now, and they do a challenge that should prove easy for Akia.

A/N: Yeah, that wasn▓t too funny. Sorry. Review anyway, kay: ) 


	8. Challenge 8: Dragon eggs

SUEvivor: Alagesia

A/N: Thank you, my awesome reviewers! One chapter to go till the end: ( And someone asked me if I could do a Lost SUEvivor. I would LOVE to, but there really aren▓t that many Lost Sues floating around out there. I can only think of like, three. I wanted to do a SUEvivor for some of my other fandoms, but the stupid Suethors seem to only focus their evilness on Harry Potter, POTC, and Eragon.

CHALLENGE 8: DRAGON EGGS.

Danni, Adrielle, and Akia were the only Sues left in the game.  
They were all sad that their friends had been voted out. Well, everyone but Danni, who had been too busy rolling her eyes to make friends.

Akia was admiring her hair and Adrielle was smiling into a mirror. But they weren▓t conceited! That▓s not Sueish!

⌠NOOOOOO!!!!■ Danni cried from the Sues bathroom.  
The other Sues ran in and stood outside the door.  
⌠Uh, Danni? You OK?■ Akia asked nervously.  
⌠NO I▓M NOT OK, YOU STUPID BEE-OTCH! I▓M OUT OF MASCARA!!!!!!■ Danni screamed, flinging the door open really hard and hitting Adrielle in the nose.  
⌠Well, you do use it a lot,■ Akia reasoned.  
⌠Please. I only ever spend five hours a day putting it on! How can it be empty so soon?■ Danni asked, throwing the empty bottle away in disgust.

Adrielle and Akia looked at each other. Neither of them had ever heard Danni talk so much. ⌠I▓b vobing her oubt,■ Adrielle said thickly, still holding her nose.  
⌠Yeah. I▓ll vobe for her too,■ Akia said, and Adrielle gave her a weird look.

XOXOXOXOXO

A couple of hours later, Adrielle was sleeping in her chair, drooling.  
⌠I▓ll get the door!■ Akia cried, running into the room.  
⌠Wha?■ Adrielle asked, wiping her mouth. ⌠Whose here?■ ⌠Jade H. is about to knock on the door!■ Akia said, opening the door. As she predicted, Jade H. was standing in the door way, about to knock.

⌠God, Sues are creepy. Anyway, I▓m here-■ ⌠For our challenge,■ Akia finished for Jade H.  
⌠QUIT READING MY MIND!!!! Anyway, yes, for your challenge. Now, since we▓re in Alagesia, we know that dragons are like, slightly important. Any decent Sue can make dragon eggs crack relatively easily. Heck, the last SUEvivor: Alagesia winner could just walk into a room and everything in it would crack┘.that was kind of annoying. Yeah, so, your challenge is┘..You have to make your designated dragon egg hatch!■

⌠WHAT?! THAT▓S SO NOT FAIR!!!! AKIA▓S BEEN DOING THAT HER WHOLE LIFE!!!■ Adrielle shrieked.

⌠Oh, shut up. Yes, she has had a little more experience than some, but all Eragon Sues are created with the Dragon Hatching abilities. You can all do it,■ Jade H. said. ⌠Now, follow me!■

A few minutes later the Sues were standing inside a big barn.  
⌠Well, this is different,■ Adrielle said.  
Lining the wall of the barn were three emerald green dragon eggs.

⌠Alright, Sues. Just go up to the eggs and try to make ▒em crack!■ Jade H. told them. Then she sat in her director chair with a megaphone and yelled, ⌠Action!■

Akia stood next to her egg.  
She made her eyes wide, so she looked like this: O-O The egg shook and glowed green. Suddenly it exploded and a little baby dragon popped out. Or at least it looked like a dragon.

⌠┘It▓s a puppet,■ Akia said, holding up her dragon puppet.  
⌠So?■ Jade H. asked. ⌠We aren▓t Sues; we can▓t just go steal a dragon egg! We have to improvise!■

Meanwhile, Adrielle was still trying to hatch her egg.  
⌠That▓s it!■ she grumbled. She put her hand on the egg and transformed it into a banana. Then she peeled it and held up her banana-covered dragon puppet.

⌠Wow┘That was┘.Hmmm┘■ Jade H. said, picking up the puppet. ⌠You didn▓t really hatch it, ya know.■

Danni, while the others weren▓t looking, had pulled her metal finger nail filer out of her pocket. What Sue doesn▓t carry one of THOSE around everywhere?  
Anyway, she started sawing away at the egg shell. She had had a lot of experience in nail filing, so it went pretty quick. The egg soon fell apart.  
⌠Kay, I like, did it,■ Danni said.

Jade H. looked at the two halves of egg shell.  
⌠Hmmm┘ Yes, definite nail filing marks across the split. You cheated. Nice going. OK, Sues, since two of you didn▓t actually hatch your egg, you probably can guess that Akia won immunity. Now for the voting,■ Jade H. picked up the hat and held it our for Akia, then Danni, then Adrielle.

⌠First vote: Danni. Next vote, Adrielle. And the final person voted out of SUEvivor: Alagesia is┘┘.■

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER. DIDN▓T SEE THAT COMING, HUH?

⌠┘..Danni.■

⌠OK, like, go to hell,■ Danni said through her gum and she stormed away.

⌠I▓ll see you guys next week for the final episode of SUEvivor!■

END OF CHALLENGE 8.

A/N: Wow, shortest chapter ever! Anyway, please review and tell me who you want to win! u 


	9. Challenge 9: The Final Challenge

SUEVIVOR: ALAGESIA

A/N: Well, today▓s the last chapter. : ( I found this book at the library called, ▒My Angelica.▓ Anybody heard of it? It▓s like the published version of a Sue parody! Anyway, please review: )

CHALLENGE 9: THE FINAL CHALLENGE

Adrielle and Akia were the last Sues left in the show.  
They were sitting on their thrones, looking around the quiet, empty room. Akia suddenly burst into tears.

⌠Oh, don▓t cry! I▓m sad about my friends not getting here, too, but we should try to be happy!■ Adrielle said, patting the blond Sue on the back.

⌠No, I don▓ t care about that! I just broke a nail!!!!■ Akia sobbed.  
⌠Oh, you poor thing!■ Adrielle gasped. ⌠Well, if you think you can survive this trauma, we should pack our bags.■

Adrielle and Akia went to their bed rooms.  
Adrielle stuffed all her flowing silk dresses into a sparkling pink suit case while Akia stuffed all her tiny pieces of armor into a leather back pack.

Adrielle sighed and turned toward Akia. ⌠I hope you win!■ she said.  
⌠I hope I win, too!■ Akia agreed, and Adrielle looked like this: .

XOXOXOXOXO

This time, the Sues were waiting outside the castle, carrying the thousands of suitcases. Adrielle had coaxed little blue birds to carry all her bags for her (she could speak to animals, such was her elfish awesomeness). Jade H. came walking up the hill, looking sad. ⌠Hello, ladies. How are you feeling today?■

Adrielle shrugged. ⌠I just hope my friends aren▓t too upset.■ ⌠I feel like a pizza!■ Akia announced. They stared at her. ⌠What? I▓m hungry!■ ⌠Um, right. OK, follow me,■ Jade H. said, turning around and walking down the hill.

The Sues and the host entered a little cabin. Well, it looked like a little cabin on the outside; inside it was HUGE.  
Screaming fans were inside, holding signs up for Akia and Adrielle. Eragon, Murtagh, and Roran were sitting in chairs on a big stage.  
As soon as the Sues entered the building, their hair and clothes changed. They were now wearing something really fancy and a lot of make up.

Akia and Adrielle sat down in front of Jade H., who was in her director▓s chair.

⌠Well, Sues, you▓ve come a long way. Before this show, you were just a particularly annoying product of a fan girls mind. Now, one of you is going to be the Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue!!!! Before we get to deciding, we have a special guest judge! Please welcome┘.. Mariah Annalisa Rhiannon Yaresha Serenity Unicorn Eve!! The last SUEvivor: Alagesia winner!!■

The doors flew open and everyone ducked.  
The most beautiful woman ever walked through the doors┘.and every glass thing in the room shattered.  
But no one cared cause she was so inhumanly hot. Her eyes were sapphire orbs flecked with silver, though how ones eyes can be flecked with silver remains a mystery.  
Her hair swirled behind even though the air was still. Her hair was an ebony blanket covering the top half of her body (that▓s a real quote from a Sue fic), but it had a long blue streak through it. She smiled and the flash from her teeth blinded a few by-standers.

⌠Yes, she▓s the winner of last times SUEvivor: Alagesia. She▓s an elf from this time period! She also found out she▓s the daughter of Galbatorix, was made his slave, became the next dragon rider, took over as leader of the Varden, and then became queen of Alagesia! Mariah Annalisa Rhiannon Yaresha Serenity Unicorn Eve, would you like to say anything?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Yes I would, dear mortal. I just would like to wish you both good luck, and I hope that some day, you can be as Sueish as I am!■ Mariah Annalisa Rhiannon Yaresha Serenity Unicorn Eve answered. A few people burst into tears because her voice was so pretty.

⌠Well, let▓s just recap what▓s happened this season and how you ladies got here. Your first challenge was getting through Mary Sue situations. You both answered very well, and Adrielle, you won immunity. Akia, how did you feel about that?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠I felt totally cheated! My answer actually happens in fics!■ Akia whined, folding her arms.

⌠Mmm hmm. Anyway, your next challenge was the fashion show. I▓m sure you both liked that challenge, but Danni California won. Adrielle, the judges spent a lot of time going on about how you were so much better than Arya. What do you think of that?■ Jade H. asked the elf.

⌠Well, it▓s totally true! I am the best elf in the whole damn world! I▓ve actually heard some stupid mortals calling Arya a Sue! What morons! I▓m the Sue! Ayra▓s a normal elf!■ Adrielle said, starting to get angry.

⌠Calm down, elf girl, I was just asking. Anyway, your next challenge was the maze. Not your favorite challenge, probably, Danni won again and everything. Akia, you almost got eaten by a dragon. What was that like for you?■

⌠Who cares about being eaten?! He got ketchup in my hair!!!■ Akia burst into tears at the memory. Adrielle patted her on the back and the crowd made sympathetic noises.

⌠Poor little Sue,■ Jade H. said dryly. ⌠Well, then your challenge was the one where you guys had to show your Sue powers. Jade S. won that challenge, but Adrielle, you transported the entire room you were in to the Hadrac Desert. How did you get us back?■

⌠By using some highly complex magic. It took me all day!■ Adrielle said, shaking her head.

⌠Really? Well, your next challenge was the one where you guys had to make your own Sueish clothes. The winner of that challenge was Akia. Akia, tell us why you made what you did?■ Jade H. asked, turning to the Sue.

⌠Obviously it was the sluttiest- I mean sexiest outfit possible!■ Akia said, recovering from the dragon memory and tossing her hair.

⌠Mm hmm. Your next challenge was the Speed dating. Adrielle, you won, but you broke Eragon. How do you explain that?■ Jade H. demanded.

⌠Um┘.I don▓t,■ Adrielle said.

⌠Whatever. Anyway, then you guys had to do the Alagesian Idol challenge. Akia, you won that challenge by singing ▒I Am.▓ What made you pick that song?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Uh, hello! It▓s like, the most Sueish song ever! What else is there to sing in that challenge?■ Akia laughed.

⌠Right. Then you guys did Dragon Egg Hatching challenge and Akia won because she▓s the only one who actually hatched her egg. Adrielle, why did you just transform your egg into a banana?■

⌠Well, Elf!Sues really don▓t hatch dragon eggs that much. We usually just steal the eggs,■ explained Adrielle.

⌠OK, now here you all are, on your final challenge. Just like the last three SUEvivors, at the end of each season, we have the contestants tell us why they should win. Akia, we▓ll start with you. You have 30 seconds. Go!■ Jade H. said.

⌠Kay, look. Think people; how many fics have I stared in? How many times have I made Eragon fall in love with me? How many sacrifices for love have I made? My hair is so blond! My eyes so blue! How could I not be the Ultimate SUEvivor with these looks?■ Akia sat back down as her supporters cheered.

⌠Alright, Adrielle. You get to go next,■ Jade H. said.

⌠Hello viewers. I am Adrielle, the Elf!Sue. My opponent says that she should be the Ultimate Mary Sue cause she▓s blond, but black haired Sues in this fandom are way more popular! I have all the power and beauty of a normal Sue, plus my elfish incredibleness! I make everything with a pulse fall in love with me and I never do anything wrong! I am the Mary Sue of my fandom!!!■ Adrielle sat back down with her arms crossed and her supporters cheered, too.

⌠That was great, ladies. OK,■ Jade H. turned to the camera. ⌠Now is the time to vote, people!■ Silence filled the room as people all around voted for their favorite Sues.

After a few minutes of intensely dramatic music, Jade H. was handed a golden dragon▓s egg. She pulled the top half off to reveal a golden envelope. Inside it was a golden letter.

⌠And the winner of SUEvivor: Alagesia, the Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue is┘┘..■

TWO HOURS LATER

⌠┘..Adrielle!!!!!■

Adrielle looked like this: 0o0 Her fans were screaming and cheering as a sash was put over her shoulders.  
A bunch of unimportant people placed a sparkling tiara on her head and Jade H. handed her roses and a check for a billion bucks.

⌠Congratulations, Adrielle! You▓ll forever be known as the Ultimate Eragon Mary Sue! Well, that▓s all for this season of SUEvivor! I▓ll see you next time!■ Jade H. said as the credits started rolling and the SUEvivor theme song started playing.

END OF SEASON 3.

A/N: Oh, now it▓s over. ToT - crying face. Anyway, I need some help with next season of SUEvivor, so go look at my forums, Kay? And review, please: ) 


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